to someone who loves the beach

today's fortune cookie

But what if that person is an inconsiderate, oblivious, self-absorbed, arrogant dick who ...

ah..........  forget it. There are just certain people who don't deserve forgiveness... because they don't even understand what they did to deserve the forgiveness in the first place.

So why try? I'd rather remain bitter than give certain people an excused absence for their lack of decency and compassion.

So suck on that fortune cookie gods!!!!

closure

It's always painful when you get actual closure on a relationship. When you hit that point where you say - in no way could I ever sit across from that person at a table and look them them in eye ever again. The breaking point can be different each time, but you always know it when you careen into it. I've had several closure moments - one of which was today. 

I haven't spoken to a former friend in several months due to an incident in which I was hurt deeply. This person recently sent me a birthday card, which confused and ... I dare admit... gave me a twinge of hope that perhaps we could speak once again. But today I was given my answer: Absolutely not!  After our long disconnect, I did expect for the subject of WHY there was a disconnect to be brought up .. maybe even act interested in my feelings or a little apologetic (rather than a nonchalant How You Been?... kind of in tune with Haven't heard from you in a while... as though nothing was at issue. ). After a forced, insincere apology, this person added a "butt" and then a stubborn justification as to why that apology was insincere. This stubborn "but" -once given - well... it HAD to be known that this "but" would end all possibility of any reconciliation. And yet there the "but" was. Once I seen that "but" I knew.... I knew that this person didn't get it.... nor get me.

You see, I have a problem with people known their actions hurt me, but they refuse to ask why. Rather, they assume my reasoning. But this conclusion is formulated using only one side of the equation - their own! Therefore, they have THEIR ego behind why *I* feel a certain way. 

To not even entertain that there may possibly be another reason - other than their own - as to why someone is upset/hurt/angry is arrogant.Their ego and sense of righteousness forbids them from seeing any other possible explanations or opinions other than their own. And because they only see from their own position, they can acquit themselves from all wrongdoing and justify their actions. Then blame can be shifted back to the person who is hurt, because they are being irrational or in some other way - wrong. 

And that's when I walk away.

A true friend will ask why you're hurt.  They won't assume it. They will entertain the idea that, perhaps, they don't fully understand why you're hurt or angry or disappointed. They will apologize for hurting you - even if it were unintentional and even if they truly don't think they are in the wrong... but merely because you are hurting - and the apology will come without prompting. They will be open to understanding your feelings and want to clear the air. This is the mark of a true friendship. An even relationship with mutual respect. This is what I wanted. This is what I was hoping for today. To be asked why I felt hurt and for this old friend to make some type of attempt to make amends.

 All I wanted was for my feelings to be acknowledged and to to be asked why I was so hurt... "but" that didn't happen. My feelings were incorrectly assumed. And now, my once beloved and adored ex-friend will never know why I felt the way I did.  I doubt the ex-friend will ever figure it out... and given today's events,  even cares to.

Such a shame.

As I mentioned before....

 My bedroom is my favorite room in my house. With it's high antique, four-poster bed to all the antique dressers that's been handed down from grandparent to grandchild and the many little odds and ends I've placed throughout... it is a nifty little place to hang my hat at the end of the day.

I've snapped a few pics of some of my "treasures"... Hope you like...

 This is a mere fraction of my vintage camera collection.

 Blaire is my 15+ year old Siamese Cat named after the Blaire character on Facts of Life (because my kitty had super blonde hair when we got her). She is Jasper's sister, tho they look nothing alike. What's funny tho, is Jasper acts like a Siamese cat - meaning he cries and talks super loud and all the time. Blaire is a bedroom kitty. She almost never leaves my room. In cat years she'd be 80 or 90 years old. She literally lays on me when I sleep... all frickin' night long.

Mom sculpted the little mushroom gnome years ago. It's about 2.5 inches tall. My old cameras again. A little peacock ring box Chrissy gave me a few years ago. We both love peacocks. The necklace holder I made from an old plant holder I found in some junk a long time ago. The Marilyn Monroe doll Silas gave me for the holidays plus my Betty Boop - who used to sit in my old studio. Lastly, the book I've been thumbing through ... about all the weird and creepy places to visit in Ohio. I have a hankering for some road trips and this book is going to help me plan one out.

Holy Snipes!

Last night I had a house full of barely naked and completely naked ladies.

I shit you not.

Yes... it was another one of my oh-so-cherry Marathon Photo Parties and this one was hosted right here at Casa de TJ.

The house was full. There were lots of clothes to choose from. Cupcakes with kisses were enjoyed and, of course, we had some bubbly. I so love these photo parties! It really was great having everyone over and playing dress up. Plus, the photos are pretty damn sweet! I'll be editing and posting them a bit later.

Thanks to all my friends who came out!! I can't wait until we can do this again!

Muah! Kisses to you all!!

XXOO,
TJ

From my facebook.. this makes me laugh

From one of the best movies ever!

If you can name this movie... then you totally get me.

Watching Big Bang Theory on DVD.. what'cha doing?

passive aggressive blogging here folks

So Nelsonville city council just passed the whole changing Hocking Street to Brooks Factory street (or something like that). And who is President of City Council? And who also sits on the Nelsonville Area Chamber Of Commerce (head guy, I think)... ? And who works for Rocky Boots?

Was it any wonder that it was unanimous?

Everyone I've spoken to seem pretty pissed off about the change. I personally think it's ridiculous... but oh course they got what they wanted. Luckily it's just a tiny little street - but it is the one that leads into the Nelsonville Square.. that they pretty much have control over anyways.

Idiots...

Nelsonville Council votes to rename Hocking Street

Posted: Friday, January 18, 2013 3:00 pm | Updated: 2:02 pm, Sat Jan 19, 2013.

By Sara Brumfield Messenger staff journalist

 

NELSONVILLE — Hocking Street has been renamed Rocky Boots Way after a vote by Nelsonville City Council this week.

Kevin Dotson, president of Nelsonville City Council, said the street name change was passed unanimously among members on Monday. Dotson, who works at Rocky Rocky Boots Outlet Store, abstained from the vote.

The name change will take effect 30 days after the vote. After the 30 days is up, Dotson said a new road name sign will be installed.

The renaming of the street — which connects Canal Street to the Nelsonville Public Square — was proposed in November by members of the family that created the company that eventually became Rocky Brands in Nelsonville.

Brothers Mike, Stuart and Jay Brooks originally proposed that the name be changed to Wm. Brooks Shoe Factory Street at a Nelsonville Street Committee meeting on Nov. 20. The brothers, who are all still employed and involved with Rocky Brands (formerly called Rocky Boots), then agreed to the shortened name for the street.

The renaming of the street was proposed in order to honor the William Brooks Shoe Factory employees who used to walk the street from the factory to the Public Square to eat.

The Messenger previously reported that the Brooks brothers plan to make improvements on the street, including planting trees and installing an archway that would direct people to the historic district. The brothers agreed to foot the bill for power usage to light the archway.

On Friday, Mike Brooks, who is chairman of Rocky’s board of directors, said that the goal of the street renaming and archway is to bring more visitors to the city’s historic district.

He said that the Rocky Boots Outlet Store sees about 200,000 customers a year and the Hocking Valley Scenic Railway next door has between 35,000 and 40,000 visitors a year who all park on Canal Street. He said the archway would be an invitation for those tourists to walk a block over to visit the Public Square.

According to Brooks, Rocky’s customers sometimes travel 100 to 200 miles to visit the outlet store and that the business will provide maps and encourage customers to see what else the city has to offer.

“We want to connect the dots,” Brooks said.

Brooks said the brothers hope to construct the archway this summer.

“We want it to be attractive and welcoming,” he said. Brooks added that the design of the archway has not yet been finalized.

The Messenger asked its Facebook fans what they thought of the city’s decision to rename the street. Some supported the change while others said that Hocking Street should remain unchanged.

Marc Riley posted, “Great, Rocky has more employees now than they had when the factory here! They also do more for our community and surrounding communities than any other business!”

“The roads in Nelsonville are horrible. The council should worry about fixing them before changing a street name,” posted Patty Maccombs.

Amanda Gretz wrote, “I do not care for Rocky Boots anymore. Since they moved the factory and all them people lost their jobs, I will not buy from them anymore.”

Billy Matters wrote, “A fitting tribute to a company that has supported the Nelsonville area for generations.”

sbrumfield@athensmessenger.com; Twitter @SaraBmessenger.

Reconnecting with old friends makes my day each and every time

Within the past few months, several good friends reemerged in my life. People I've known for years (all since, at least, the 90s).

I've missed Lawrence! He's on the right. We met in the early 90's when he was attending Ohio University.  Heather just divorced her first husband and we were out at Nick's dancing (an old dance club in Athens from way back.) Lawrence was there with his friend Noble and we hit it off immediately. Been friends ever since. Haven't seen him in person since 1999 though (something he told me last night and I didn't realize it had been that long!) We had many long talks over the phone but lost track when I moved in 2011. We plan to meet up for a long chat sometime in the spring - I hope. He's a business consultant now and travels all over the country. He may be the first one to have a busier schedule than me!






























And Brendan and I met mid 90's. He's a smarty pants who built his own solar powered house that's gorgeous! I love our talks. And he makes me smile the entire time we're hanging out. I don't think he realizes just how much he entertains me with his dry sense of humor and methodical thinking.


I've already posted a photo of Eric from a wedding I did over the fall. Eric and I go the farthest back. Maybe 1989 or 1990? He was still in high school and lived down the road. He was such a sweetheart - and he totally cracked me up! Still does!

I've also found Janice, my long lost best friend from gradeschool (through junior high), my favorite teacher Mrs Hill, relatives out in Oklahoma, reconnected with my buddy Tom (kids call him Uncle Tom) whom I haven't seen in a few years... and tons of classmates.

The internet is an amazing tool. It's wonderful to find old friends and catch up... especially like Eric, Brendan and Lawrence who really are special. I've missed you boys!

Photos from my very busy week

 Me on this Sunday morning.

Alex and Charleigh finally get their holiday gifts... but they seemed happier to give Izzy hers.

Netflix got racist. 

 Silas wasn't really feeling all the homeschool work we did this week... which was  a LOT.

But Izzy loved school!!

 Another one of me from today. Yes.. that look is exhaustion on my face. I've been writing like crazy. I REALLY want to get this book done by the end of the year... or at the very least, a rough first draft!

Thanks Freddie for helping me with this photo. The black dog in Lydia's lap was looking straight up, but Fred was able to take the head off another photo and paste it to this one. Yay! Now I gotta learn how to do that!

 Silas and MORE schoolwork.

 The dogs hanging out in the den - on the love seat they have claimed as their own.

I used to love...

getting up early to work out.

  Of course.. it was in 2004  and it took about 2 months to get into the habit of early rising AND early exercise. But by the end of that 2 months, I craved water, salads and a run on a trail or a good step aerobic session.

This is also after I realized I had diabetes and, already a vegetarian when diagnosed, it took me several YEARS to figure my body out and how to keep the weight down.

And now... well... I kinda forgot all that. Well, I didn't forget - I just put my energy elsewhere. Mainly into studios and kids and things like that.

It's slowly coming back. The craving for water. The grimacing face when I see food that's unhealthy. The desire to exercise in the morning...  -   And from all that, my energy and waistline are also returning.

Tho I'd rather post all this to my feeldelicious site (and I will cross post this) I kinda thought it was okay to post it here... given this is my most popular blog and has the most email and readers.

So for those of you who gave up --- DON'T!! No matter how long it's been since you've worked out or how out of shape you are... you CAN still get it all back!  Hell, if I can get the ability to do the splits back YOU can at least walk a few miles without panting or get into a healthy aerobic habit.

And now I'm off to eat some delicious all-natural (no preservatives, no MSG) bacon with farm fresh eggs, herbal tea and then a good workout. I hope your morning is just as wonderful.

PS: Mental note. I REALLY dislike my hair the length it is in the first photo. ugh! I'm glad it's finally long again (after my last stupid hair cutting kick). Just sayin'

so I just realized today...

that I drunk texted someone the other night.
ugh.
I also realized they didn't text me back.
huh?
I don't know which one I find more odd.

Resolutions I hope to check off my list (tho some are much harder than others!!)

And it snowed... (pics from today)

 The tires I trained in ... once ... for the Warrior race.

  My truck that is temporarily out of commission.

Thoughts on this rainy Thursday...

 I've decided to let this be my mantra for the day.... especially given it's rainy and Silas and I are going to hike a few miles to Krogers here in a bit ... and I have no idea how that's gonna pan out. I know the potential for being cold and wet is pretty high... but I think we can handle it.

And I recently saw these 2 tshirts and I am tempted to buy them. I am ALWAYS telling my kids that pop is pop - NOT soda. We are Appalachian and use funny words so embrace it.

 But this one would be for me! I think this may be my bday present to myself come February.

Today f' ing sucked balls!

Power outages.
Power trips.
Idiots on facebook annoying the crap out of me.
A puking granddarling.
Rain. Wet ground. Slipping. Falling. Wet clothes. bleck!
Hating my cat.
Truck dead in the driveway.

shit.

My horoscope was such a liar.
f'' ing liars.

But the good news is... I think I know what I'm getting for Solstice!
The bad news is .... it'll probably be Izzy's flu.

shit. shit. shit. 

giggle

Last night I was able to use a star finder app on my new smartphone. This reminded me of Brendan and I using said phone to try to figure out if one particular bright object was a planet. It was.

Life

 Scott and Jasper Bojangles napping.

 Big, beautiful canvas prints. Yep. This is what my children are getting this year. This is my daughter Shannan and her family.

 Jasper Bojangles is going to be 15, I think. He still looks amazing though. I have no idea what his secret is. He naps a lot and refuses to do anything. Maybe that's it.

 Two sky pictures and a damn squirrel that keeps taunting me outside. He sits there posing until I get my camera.. and then he darts into the woods. Stupid squirrel.

Granddaughter Izzy, my Miss Maddie Mae under my chair - as always - and Molly... who has the cutest nose freckle.

It's past midnight on a school night....

And here I am. Thinking.
Thinking about idiotic things people do and how those things can't be deleted or reversed or erased.
There is no delete button or instant forgiveness rule in which time heals all wounds.
They are there ---  permanently.
Emotional scars that fester when your mind opens the cuts and dwells in the memory.
All it takes is one event. One moment. One sentence.
One incredibly stupid decision followed by an even dumber act...
.. and everything changes.
In an instant. Literally... in an instant.
You could be madly in love or someone's closest friend -
you know... the one who holds all your secrets...
and it all turns.. changes.. on a dime.
And you're left hanging.
Always hanging.
Forever dangling.
Because of one stupid moment.
One poor decision.
One lie.

I work on letting it all go.
I'm good like that.
I actually work at erasing it all...
of tricking myself into forgetting -
not just the bad, but the good too...
because the good reminds me of the bad.
It's a vicious cycle... if I were to allow it to devour me.
Which is would.

So every now and then I give in... and I ponder... and remember...
and even wonder - was it actually worth it?
Because it would all seem even sadder if I were to realize that it wasn't even worth it.

But then again - 
and this is only because I can be one hell of a bitch...
I honestly hope it wasn't.

Because maybe then, after I've long forgotten...
you'll be left to remember.
Always.