I've always tried to be a good friend. And if you were lucky enough to have me as - what I would refer to you as - my very best friend... you were the luckiest of all. Why? Because I am one of those people who drops everything and runs off to help that particular best friend - no matter what the situation, no matter what it costs, and no matter how long it takes.
I do this not only because of my unconditional love, but because I try to do for others how I would hope they would do for me.
You know how that goes... they ask you a BIG favor and you say or think to yourself "Of course I will! You would do that for me!!"
Well... what would you do if one day you're hit with the realization that you're the ONLY one - of the two of you - who drops everything and runs off to help the other? And when your day comes, after years and years of helping and handing out and giving... you realize "Shit!!!" They WOULDN'T do that for you!?!?!
Yep. That realization came to me recently. For the first time in my friend-relationship with someone I love like a sister - and someone I've given money to, time to, energy to (when I honestly had none to spare and had to take said money, time and energy from my own life and family)... has no money, time or energy for you?
I'm usually the one who holds things together. I'm usually the one who is nurturing and comforting. I'm that girl you call when your car breaks down, or you get put into jail, or you're served court papers.. or you can't feed your kids. I run to the scene of the crash and start giving my own brand of care.
But this time, I was the one who bottomed out. My economy crashed late last year and no one wanted to send anything via semi trucks - so our income went down to 1/3 what it was before. I was closing my studio after realizing that I was being taken advantage of there. My father is law way dying and I only needed a little bit of help... just a little money back that was borrowed and owed over the years. Because while I was in the hole, my friend was out of it. And the year before I put myself into her hole to help her dig out of a big one - yet again - and I hadn't recovered from it entirely when my world came crashing down.
But I didn't get help. Hell, at that time I had two vehicles in the shop and I didn't even get a ride into town. I got nothing (until later... I got enough for 2 weeks of groceries - but I had to get angry just to get that.)
I'm not saying I want to be paid back for everything I do. Ive always helped because I felt it was the right thing to do..
But I am saying that this is an eye opener and everyone reading this should ask themselves - if the shoe was on the other foot, would that person really walk the roads that you walk in order to help them? Or will they go on 2 weekend vacations and lie about it?
For me, this changes everything. I can't help anymore. I just can't spare the time.... or the energy.... and definitely not the money.
I'm climbing out of my hole now... but I did it on my own.
